“Mommy, when will I born a baby?”
This is what my four-year-old son asked me from the backseat of the car yesterday.
I paused before answering, so as not to crush his spirit by saying that boys couldn’t have babies. In reality, I did not give birth to him, but he is 100% my baby (okay, my husband’s too…when I feel like sharing).
“Mommy, who will I marry?” is another question he has asked on more than one occasion. Again, I always stop and choose my words delicately so as not to dampen the bright light of excitement in his eyes.
Hopefully he will marry his best friend, like I did. Hopefully he will make a life with a partner who respects him and makes him laugh. I am very careful not to impose any gender limitations. I want my children to be healthy and happy. To grow up and be successful at whatever they choose to do. To marry who they love, or not marry. To “born” babies or adopt babies or foster babies, or not. I want them to just be who they are.
That’s where my experience at Sunflower comes into play. Learning to just be. Learning to let myself be and learning to just let my kids be. Let them be happy or sad, curious or indifferent, adventurous or tame.
I’ve always been very aware of what we “have to do” or “really should be doing by now…” and probably paid more attention to those things than I needed to. As a Sunflower mom, I’m learning to let go of those worries. Learning not to be so concerned about what others think.
It’s amazing to be part of a community that accepts us for who we are and just lets us be. We get to experience teachable moments every day in a non-judgmental way. We learn that we don’t have to be just like everybody else or act like everybody else. We don’t have to parent like everybody else! Sunflower is a special place filled with special people who have changed our lives, and for that I will be forever grateful.
So I looked back at my son in his car seat and answered him, “I think you’re going to be a great daddy.”
Post by Lori Morrison
Photo by Gwendolyn Rae Photography